"Foot, Ass, Foot"

Those were my instructions on how to enter and exit my kayak.

My two day lesson isn't until next week, but a friend found a 1 1/2 hour lesson for $15 (far cheaper than my upcoming lesson)! I tagged along and had a fabulous time. Unlike snowboarding, I really gelled with kayaking on the river.

Makin' Papa Proud

Cooperstown, Here We Come!

I am by no means a sports fanatic, but this was a nifty museum to visit. I did, however, find the section on women in baseball to be seriously lacking. It was a lot of fluff rather than cold hard facts, like stats and batting averages. How did they do? Who won what? Tell me, tell me!

Just Hangin' 'round St. Louis

Somewhere around the Illinois border. . . you come around the bend and "Behold!" Yes, you are in the Bible Belt, folks. And don't you forget it!

Revenge is Best Served Cold

My roommate's mother's tomato plants aren't doing so well. The weather just hasn't cooperated where she lives. Our plants (or more acurately "my roommate's plants" as my help involves simply keeping my black thumb a safe distance from them) have been thriving. So two days ago she takes to gloating over the phone. Yesterday she even planned to take pictures of the glorious specimens to email to her mom.

So, naturally, yesterday we get a hail storm that almost wipes out all our plants and flowers. My car has cellulite it is so dimpled now!

Karma is a bitch.

New York Landlords are Liars

When I was searching for a place to live, I noticed that it was a coin toss as to whether or not a place would have central air. Some places sported window a/c units and others had nothing at all. When I expressed concern over this (because we all know how well I deal with the heat!), I was told it was unnecessary because it only gets hot here about 2 weeks in August.

Filthy Liars.

Due to the excessive heat and stuffiness in my house, I have taken to sleeping with the front door and kitchen window open hoping to catch a cross breeze. A few minutes ago, as I sat on the computer (out of sight of the door) checking email, I heard the screen door latch click shut. Now if there was any wind to speak of, I could chalk it up to that. But Noooooo, there's been nothing. So I was left with the horrifying idea that someone had silently entered the house. Frantically, looking around for something dangerous to threaten said intruder with, all I could muster was a freakin' stapler!

For crying out loud! My heart is beating 100 miles and hour and I am seriously thinking someone is in the house. Visions of "When a Stranger Calls Back" (damn movie!) are dancing through my brain and I'm peeking around the doorjamb armed with an office implement! Fully prepared to pull a Crocodile Dundee and bean my attacker in the head, I creep through the house, arm cocked and discover. . . nothing.

I'm not certain, but I think the NRA just revoked my membership.

Size Doesn't Matter. . . Really

I went strawberry picking today at a farm with some friends and it was quite fun. Seeing a farm that is not run by an agricultural corporation and the food it produces really shows you just how much they monkey with our food! What we buy in the supermarket has all been bred for size and color to make it look more appealing. We had to keep reminding ourselves that size did not matter, it was all about the color. Unfortunately, I don't even like strawberries, but they sure do look good!


The other stuff in the box is snap peas. I'm not a foodie and hate veggies, so to me they taste like grass.

Nine Holes, Please.

Ah, crap. . . the blog. Yes, it has been forever and in my usual procrastinator's style I will go back and make blog entries for the time I missed. Now that it is summer, I can effectively catch up. In my defense, I am also penning 3 other blogs (man, have I turned into a conputer nerd or what?) simultaneously. This, the original and most fun for me, was relegated to the back burner. Sorry, blog.

So here's the update: I can scratch Go-Carts off my list. The other night a few pals and I had dinner and drinks, then went to Fun Plex across the river. That evening also taught me the essential flaw of miniature golf: It is only fun for about 9 holes. After that you play through just to get it done. I am happy to report, however, that I was not the biggest loser of the evening. In fact, I came in second. :-p

Brian Haner, Jeff Dunham, and a lighthouse

Yup. So that was my weekend in Connecticut. I'd tell you about the (baaaaad) hostel we stayed at but I'm too worn out from writing a review and giving it a crappy rating on another site. :-p

Day-om! My Car is Tired.

One of the Many Reasons I Love NYC

Performance Art. This lady was spotted hopping across the street on one foot (as the other is being eaten). I snagged this pic when she sat down and eventually smoked a cigarette. No idea if that was part of the piece or just a break for the artist.

And. . . I went to the Museum of Sex. The His and Hers Urinals are from the current exhibition focused on advertising and design. There is some pretty nifty stuff there and there is nothing like hearing, "Wimmern, Blick auf, wie groß, der ist! Das ist das größte cockring das ich überhaupt gesehen habe!"

I guess some things aren't lost in translation.

If any portion of that text was not written in proper German, blame Babelfish. . . I don't want to hear it.

Ouch!

Hope everyone had a better Easter than this guy.

I'm a Legacy

No, not of a sorority.

For Christmas, however, my father got me a lifetime membership to the National Rifle Association. Today my packet showed up complete with certificate, pin, info, patches, and stickers.

Watch out, boys!

I Like 'em Big, But. . .

I got a new phone yesterday and it has a full texting keypad (yes, I'm a text whore), ten alarms, two world clocks (so I can tell you at a glance the time in Reykjavik), etc.

But I feel like I'm holding a calculator to my head!

Completely off topic: Snowboarding is over, Ballroom dancing is over, and I'm a little behind schedule on my "52 Things" list. HELP!

A Flip of the Finger to. . .

. . . the bagage handlers on my flight home. They must look like this:

Because the inside of my bag was covered with this:

>-P

Go Ahead, Drink the Water in Texas

I crashed for a night at the Westin in Dallas and it is a fairly swanky hotel. It is attached to a shopping center complete with an indoor ice rink. Nice, but
man the prices!

B-b-brrrr!

So one day my friend says to me, "I'm going to do a Polar Bear Plunge. Wanna come?"
"Are you nuts?!" I respond.
"I can't believe you won't do it," she charges.
"Oh, no," I counter. "I'll do it. I can't let you out-crazy me!"

This was the site of the Polar Bear Plunge.

Festival workers were breaking up the ice and trying to float it away from the plunging area. It was cold (duh), but I'm glad that I did it. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but it sure does hurt the feet! If I ever do this again, I'm going to wear shoes, because running on ice with wet bare feet is just crazy.

Make that TWO ice packs, please!

OhHolyCrap! Tonight was my first snowboarding lesson and I don't think I've fallen this much since I was learning to walk! I'm afraid my knees are going to be black and blue by the morning. So we'll see. . .

In Bed. . .

This is the best fortune I've gotten in a really, really long time!